How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
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