he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
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I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
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Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize