I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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