I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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