It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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