I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Also, beer. Big fan.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
