Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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