Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
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Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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