Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
