Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
