Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
BRING THE BAGELS
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
