he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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