my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
