after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
