Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Even my vagina gasped.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
