i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
