i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
