Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
