'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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