Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
