super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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