Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
