just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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