It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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