it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
