It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I have grass duct taped all over my body
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
