saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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