are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
My ATM looks so different sober.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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