Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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