No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
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The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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