spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
