You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
