hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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