It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
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It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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