Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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