Nicole vs. Life
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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