My friends, they love my intelligence
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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