You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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