We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
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