True but thats because hes a fetus.
just tell him i said nine months
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
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