We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
