Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Randomize
