whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
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i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
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You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize