i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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