you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize