They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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