I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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