Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
