Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
