I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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