after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
