I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize