And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize