So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
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Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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