Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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