So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
