We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
