Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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