Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Just high enough for therapy.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
