I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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