just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
