ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
it's great music for shaving your balls
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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