I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
